Tuesday, 12 February 2019

A-Z Challenge - V is for Value!


I have spent a few days working out how I was going to write this post without offending people, & then I relized, you know what? this is my blog, my space, & if people don't like what I write then they don't have to read it. it's that simple! So before I get started, I just need to say, I am putting my entire head space into this post, so if you are easily offended then I advise you probably not to read this one. 

- V is for Value!

When I asked my friends on Facebook for suggestions on a "V post", one of my good friends said "value" I have since been pondering this for a few days trying to work out what I could put into a value post. could it be family? could it be friends? & then it came to me... How do I value myself?

Not very highly as it happens. & that is because of so many other people chipping away at me over the years. People who have taken my friendship, taken my help, & then thrown it all back in my face. Not a lot of people may relize this, but when you don't value yourself very high to begin with, & other people hurt you, it can have a massive negative affect on your self-worth, self-belief & yourself entirely as a person.


I have always been a bit of a push over. I don't really like confrontation or conflict & I will do everything in my power to keep the peace with a person, even if that means forgetting what I want & doing exactly what they want. This where I have been going wrong for so long. I always feel like I have to explain myself to everyone, when in actual fact, I don't. 

For years I wore my heart on my sleeve, & when I think about it now, all these people that used me & then dumped me when they were done, must have seen me coming a mile off. Things got so bad, that I then started believeing what was being said about me, & I actually started believeing it myself. This is something I am still trying to work on, & I guess it also one of the reasons I started blogging again, because when I blog, I can write exactly what I feel & nobody can say a thing about it. I don't openly share as much as I used to on Social Media anymore because back when I did, I just got hate for it, people where either jealous of me, or they just didn't like me & they made sure I knew it. 

One person even went as far as copying everything I did on Social Media, she set up her own blog off the back of me setting mine up & everything... creepy much! These sort of people I like to call "Clones" they are so insecure with their own life that they try to bring you down... At first I let it get to me, but now, years later, I sit & think, is she stil blogging? no! she's probably off copying soemone else & making their life hell. Can't be doing with people that make out they are perfect parents with a perfect life & try to make it known by ripping others apart. Urgh, bore off. 

Nobody needs that sort of negativity in their lives. Especially not someone like me, because then I am the one who gets stressed & worries about it & makes myself poorly, not the people who actually said the stuff. I am the one with the conscience over it all, not them!


So this year I made a promise to myself to be more positive, be kinder to myself & stop putting myself down, because those aren't my opinions of myself, they are the opinions of other people who are no longer apart of my life. therefore, I need to remember that what they say doesn't matter either... 

I think I am getting there, but it isn't something that will happen over night, I really need to believe it. 












Saturday, 9 February 2019

A-Z Challenge - U is for Unhappy! (it's been one of those days)



- U is for Unhappy!


I am sorry if this post is a little negative, but I can't hold this inside my head & pretend that I am okay anymore, because i'm not. On 21st January 2019, I recieved a letter from DWP stating that my PIP (Peronsonal Independant Payment) will be stopping, because after having a review on 5th December 2018, with some woman who quite frankly couldn't have given a flying toss about me or my health situation, decided that she would deny me for the benefit, despite me living with life-long chronic conditions that are going to make my life hell for the rest of my life, nor will they ever improve or change. 

Who cares tho right? she still got paid for "doing her job."

Baring in mind, when I was on DLA, I was on it "indefinete" because my conditons are for life!! I was born like this & i'm lucky to be alive as it is. 

This hit me hard, & for the last week or so, I have had to paint on this massive fake smile & tell everyone who has asked what they want to hear. That "i'm going to fight for my benefit & win!" when really, all I have wanted to do is curl up & die. My husband has anxiety himself due to me nearly dying!! & on top of that, he has to look after me, & our children!! & now, he has to pay all my bills, on top of his with his measely little benefit, whilst also trying to keep a roof over our heads..

i'm not going to lie, I felt so low a few weeks back that I sat looking on Google at ways to end my life without it looking like I had actually killed myself, because I was done with fighting. I don't want to have to fight anymore, & I especially don't want to fight government arseholes that only care about lining their own pockets. The governmen is all about fucking money!! 

People are jumping from bridges, hanging themselves & overdosing because the government are taking away their benefits & leaving them with nothing... & do they care? DO THEY FUCK!! 

The rich are getting richer & the poor are KILLING THEMSELVES. 

If you vote Tory, then you are basically condoning this SHIT!! you are allowing this shit to happen! Some of us have fuck all & we rely on those benefits to live & most of us don't see a way out without them! these suicides & deaths are down to the Tory Government & no fucker else. 

WELL DONE you're killing people.


I don't want to be a victim to their bullshit, so I am still here, still trying with all my might to fight this crap.. if not for me, then for my husband & my kids! becuse they deseve more than anyone to still have me here & for me to not let it all get on top of me & let those bastards win! 

so last week I put in for a "mandatory reconsideration" with DWP! I sat on the phone with a case-manager & broke my heart telling her how the woman who assesed me lied through her teeth & put words in my mouth, she even went as far as putting things down in her report that weren't even mentioned in the assesment. & if the mandatory reconsideration is denied then I will take the shit-heads all the way to court too! I then spoke to Welfare Rights who said that most people who put in for an "MR" get it turned down & if this happens to me they will help me go to tribunal. 

I am not one for fighting & causing a fuss, but when it affects not just me but my family, then you're fucking with the wrong spoonie!! when it comes to my life, I have literally had to fight all the way

& my mamma always taught me to be a wolf, not a sheep. 


Friday, 8 February 2019

A-Z Challenge - T is for Time.. (Spent with family)


T is for Time.. 
(Spent with Family) 

Our family has been through a lot over the last 4 years. I have put our family through a lot over the last 4 years, but they haven't given up on me yet. I don't get to spent much time with my children out of bed, & when I do, it's only for a few hours before I am back in bed again! Joys of being a spoonie mum. Thankfully, my husband & even my children totally get it. Somedays my children will crawl into bed with me with their tablets & just lie with me whilst I rest, other days, I might lie on the sofa with my duvet & a hot water bottle whilst watching them kill each other on "Super Smash Bros" but there are also rare good days, where I will muster up every ounce of energy that I have & go out with my family for a meal, or I will sit on a bench in the park resting, whilst my children run around chasing each other. I used to sit & feel super guilty about being as poorly as I am, but I am getting used to it now, & Iam realizing that on the days I need to rest, I should really listen to my bodys whispers, before they become screams! 

My children don't care what we do, whether it's running around a park or watching something on their tablet snuggled up in my bed. Just so long as they get to spend some time with me, that's all that matters to them. 

Wednesday, 6 February 2019

A-Z Challenge - S is for Son! (Mummy's Little Warrior)

The strength of a Warrior. 


- S is for Son!


When I was 5 months pregnant with Joel, (20 weeks) he was diagnosed with a rare lung malformation called CCAM - Congenital Cystic Adenomatoid Malformation! 

Cystic Adenomatoid Malformation of the lung is a multi-cystic non-functional mass of lung. Although the cause of this malformation is still unknown, doctors say that this malformation occurs between 8-12 weeks gestation when the lung buds begin to grow, & although again not certain, doctors say that CCAM is more common in males than females. 



When Joel's CCAM was first discovered at Pinderfields Hospital in Leeds at my 20 weeks scan, the mass on his lung was so large, that it had caused his heart to be pushed into his left lung. It still makes me angry when I think that this hospital were not clued up on this condition whatsoever & all they offered me, was a termination. I however fought for my boy & had us referred to another hospital, Leeds General Infirmary. Three days later, we were invited to the Fetal Assessment Unit at Leeds General Infirmary where we then met Mr Crabbe, a pediatric doctor & surgeon who had dealt with hundreds of CCAM cases like Joel's & he is such a lovely doctor, he sat us down & told us straight off the bat that, CCAM IS NOT a death sentence! So long as Joel & I are monitored fortnightly, he would grow & develop at exactly the same rate as any other growing baby! I came out of that appointment & broke my heart, as for 3 days I sat at home thinking I was going to lose my second baby! 




I was then given ultrasounds every 2 weeks from 20 weeks up until I was 32 weeks pregnant to make sure Joel didn't develop Hydrops. - Hydrops fetalis is a condition in the fetus characterized by an accumulation of fluid, or edema, in at least two fetal compartments. By comparison, hydrops allantois or hydrops amnion is an accumulation of excessive fluid in the allantoic or amniotic space, respectively. If Hydrops is not detected early, it can be fatal to the fetus & even the mother. 


Fortunately, Joel was one of the lucky ones & developed zero complications whilst in utero & came into the world via emergency c-section when I was 2 days overdue! Almost immediately after Joel was born & we'd had a very brief cuddle, he was rushed off for x-rays & placed on a heart monitor for 24 hours. Thankfully Joel's x-rays came back good, & with the heart monitor being a portable machine, that meant he was able to remain with me & didn't need a cot in NICU, but we were put on the Maternal Transitional Ward - which is a ward for mothers & sick babies. 



 

The first 11 months of Joel's life, ignorance was bliss! We just got on with things like any normal first time parents, enjoying our first baby! Joel had his first check-up at 4 months old & after more x-rays we were told that because Joel's CCAM was only small Mr Crabbe didn't see any problems as to why Joel couldn't live a normal life with ccam & not having to go through any surgery.... We were so thrilled. We went home 2 very happy parents, but it didn't last long... Over the following 5 months, Joel started to develop chest infection after chest infection, sometimes he would get one straight after the other & was always on antibiotics, so when we saw Mr Crabbe again when Joel was 11 months old, he decided to book Joel in for a CT scan so that he could get a much more detiled look at Joel's CCAM & see what it was up too. So on 31st August 2011 Joel was put under general anesthetic & his CT scan went ahead. It took 30 minutes altogether for the scan to be completed, but 30 minutes to me, felt like 30 hours!! After the scan, Joel was then taken to the Children's Day Ward in LGI to come round. Once he had come round & the nurses were happy that he was well enough to go home, off we went & life carried on as normal again for a few months before our next appointment. 




A few months past & we celebrated Joel's first birthday, then in October 2011 we received our appointment through the post to see Mr Crabbe again. On the morning of our appointment, I was a total wreck, in instincts were going wild & thinking back now, I was right to be so worried. When we saw Mr Crabbe, he confirmed our worst fears, Joel's CCAM had continued to grow after birth (which is very rare) & it was once again pushing his heart over into his left lung & it was why he was developing so many chest infections. Mr Crabbe was so lovely, he explained that he wanted to do surgery to remove Joel's CCAM as soon as possible before the bad weather came so that he didn't get really ill & end up in hospital. I fo course, broke down into tears, but Mr Crabbe gave me the biggest of cuddles & told me not to worry & that the surgery was a doddle - to him! He explained a lot more things to us about what he was going to do & what would happen, & it's safe to say that both myself & Neil went home with our heads swimming! A few days after our appointment, we received a letter in the post with Joel's surgery date - Mr Crabbe wasn't messing around! Joel's operation was to be done on 14th November 2011, just 4 weeks after our appointment. I vaguely remember looking at the letter, seeing the date & then completely losing the plot & bawling my eyes out in sheer fear. What mum wouldn't right? The next couple of weeks kind of passed in a blur as we made sure we had everything ready for our boy going in for his surgery, & then on 13th November 2011, Neil's dads birthday, Joel was admitted into hospital on the evening before his operation & when we saw Mr Crabbe on the ward, he told us that Joel's surgery would be at 8.30am the next morning & would take around 4 hours. 

I didn't sleep that night, not one wink. 

At 8.30am the next morning, my stomach was churning & I felt physically sick as I walked down to theatre with my baby in my arms. Watching your child be put under has got to be one of the worst things I have ever seen in my life, they had to kick me out so that they could do their thing & get him to sleep, because I started to stress, which made him stress! so once he was asleep, Mr Crabbe popped his head out & assured me that Joel was in safe hands & that I could quickly come in to give him a quick kiss & cuddle, then afterwards, I was escorted back to the ward by a lovely nurse, absolutely breaking my heart where I then sat in the reltives room trying to pull myself together whilst I awaited the arrival of Neil & his mum, although, as soon as I saw them, I burst into tears again! We then planned to leave the hospital & go out for some breakfast, as it was going to be a long wait, although I wasn't really that hungry. 

5 horrible hours later, which was one hour longer than Mr Crabbe had said so I was hysterical, practically wearing a hole in the floor from my pacing & worrying, a call finally came at the nurses station to say that Joel was finally in recovery & awaiting to see his mummy & daddy. I couldn't help myself, I bolted out of the ward & ran all the way to recovery leaving poor Neil to try & catch up with me.. (oops)  When I got there, I didn't need them to tell me where he was, my ears instantly picked up his cries & I followed his voice to his bedside, it was like some crazy radar! I wasn't prepared for what I saw though, Joel was covered in tubes, wires & bandages! He was crying & very groggy. The nurse tending to him then pulled me up a chair & placed my boy gently in my arms so I could hold him, whilst they upped his morphine & attached his chest drain to a bucket, ready for transporting him back to the ward. 





The next week spent in hospital was the most heartbreaking & frustrating time of my life. I had to watch my son in pain & there was absolutely nothing I could do to take any of it away. I couldn't even really cuddle him due to his chest drain stuck in his side! I did absolutely everything for Joel, even pain relief, as he wouldn't let the nurses near him, so instead, the nurse would sit with me whilst I gave it to him because he would only take it from me. When family came, I got him out of his bed for cuddles so that I could change it his chest drain would sometimes leak. Thankfully by day 3 in hospital Joel started to pick up a little bit, he was more awake & finally he started to eat - it was nanna who fed him his first meal, shepards pie, followed by two helpings of ice cream! I won't ever forget it because I remember the sheer enjoyment in his face as he was eating it.  





On day 5, Joel seem to want to get out of bed, so we sat him on the chair next to his bed with pillows to watch some tv, or we'd carry him down to the playroom for an hour, just for a change of scenery, but he'd still get tired & sore very quickly so these energy bursts never lasted long before he was crying to go back to bed & sleep. 




On day 6, Joel's chest drain was cleaned & he was given an x-ray to see if his lung had inflated enough for the drain to be removed. The results came back the next morning & the answer was yes, he was able to have his drain removed & we were one step closer to be able to go home! Later that afternoon Mr Crabbe came to remove Joel's chest drain & because I had heard a young boy having his removed earlier that morning I was a total nervous wreck. I expected crying I screaming from Joel too, but he didn't make a peep, he winced slightly when the dressing were removed, but he was so calm, it's like he was so ready for it to come out. He was so brave. 


Day 7 came & we FINALLY got the all clear to go home!!! 
It was like magic.. the second we walked through our own front door, he seem to muster up some energy out of nowhere & that night he was up rather late playing with his daddy & all his toys like this last week hadn't even happened. 




Joel will be 9 years old this year & he will hopefully at some point this year, be getting his last appointment with Mr Crabbe to be discharged as the lungs stop growing at the age of 9.  

He is & always will be my little warrior. 











Tuesday, 5 February 2019

A-Z Challenge - R is for rest & recuperation (in the life of a Spoonie mum)



- R is for rest & recuperation!

Life as a mother of two energetic children is hard, but Life as a Spoonie mum, with two energetic children, is exhausting. For the last week I have been looking after my children & helping them get over a stomach bug, all whilst praying that I didn't catch it, not much good that did, as a few days after the youngest got over it, it hit me! I spent 2 whole days in bed. I am only just today, 4 days after the bug hit me, starting to feel a little more like myself. I am still having to rest a lot, as I still keep coming over a little nauseous & clammy! 

Thankfully I am one of the lucky ones, who has an amazing supportive husband, who has taken on looking after those energetic children for 2 whole days whilst I was poorly. I already suffer with numerous chronical conditions that make my life quite challenging, so having this "bug" on top has been a bit of a nightmare, as I have felt so useless & a bit like a burden on my husband & it has definitely affected my mood a little bit. I am just glad that I have him to reassure me that I am not a burden, & that when I am poorly, I need to rest.  

So today has been another resting day, where I have stayed in my pjs & drank tea & I am slowly realizing, that it's okay to have resting days when you feel rough. I need to learn to listen to my body's whispers, before they become screams. 








Sunday, 3 February 2019

A-Z Challenge - Q is for Queasy. (Thanks for sharing your germs kids!)



- Q is for Queasy!!

I really wasn't sure on what to do for this post.. I have spent a few days trying to think something up, then all of a sudden I fell ill & the post came to me! Let's talk about how your children decide to keep everything to themselves asides from their germs.. Frankly, I would rather share some chocolate with them & they keep their germs to themselves, but noooooo....

So for the last 2 days I have been in bed feeling queasy & like the life is being drained from my body every-time I stand up, after my daughter decided to share her stomach bug with me that she had last week - Gee, cheers babe! 

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely hate seeing my children poorly, it's not a nice thing to see & the only thing you want to do at the time is take it all away from them & have it yourself... 

Well, I guess I got my wish this time round didn't I? DAMN IT. 

Oh the joys of children. Sorry this isn't a very long post, but i'm feeling rather half dead right about now & I could do with a sleep whilst the husband has taken the germinators to their nanna's for a few hours! 

Join me in my next post when I will hopefully be feeling a little better & thanks for reading.




Friday, 1 February 2019

A-Z Challenge - P is for Pets. (They are family too.)



- P is for Pets. 

(They are family too.)

I couldn't bring myself to do an A-Z blog challenge all about me, my life & my family without including a post my 3 most important fur-babies! Jack Sparrow, Serah-Tops, & Luby-Lulu!

BECAUSE THEY ARE FAMILY TOO!! 

My first cat was my beautiful angel boy Jack Sparrow! I am not going to talk too much about him as I get quite upset still, but I couldn't not mention him! Jack has lived at Rainbow Bridge since August 2017, after he was hit by a car & killed instantly. My gorgeous boy would have been 7 years old in May this year! I miss him everyday, & it has taken me a long time to get over his death, it absolutely destroyed me, & some-days I still struggle, but I know that he is sat at Rainbow Bridge playing with all the cats that he's made friends with & he is waiting patiently for me to arrive & be reunited with him. (See my A-Z "J" post for Jack's story) 



My second fur-baby is Serah, or Serah-Tops as I like to nickname her! 
Now, I say that Serah is my cat, but if truth be told, she is more Neil's cat. She isn't like Jack or Lulu, she is very reserved & rather skittish & she likes the quiet. so she spends a lot of time around her daddy more than anyone else, because i'm a bit mental, whereas Neil is a bit more of a relaxed person!

Serah will be 4 years old this year. She joined our family in August 2015, when Jack Sparrow was just 3 years old! He bossed her around for a while, but once he made it clear that he was boss, they got on really well. she was like his annoying little sister, but they definitely had a good bond, she loved him & I know he loved her in his own little bossy way. 
Serah loves to be showered with affection, just so long as you move slowly around her & speak gently. She has come out of her shell a lot since Lulu joined our family in October 2017! Serah is most definitely now the boss of the house, but she can also be a bit of a push-over when it comes to Lulu, she loves to mother & look out for Lulu alot. I don't know if that is because of what happened to Jack? but she never lets Lulu out of her sight for long. They are like sisters, they sleep together, play together & eat together. They even sunbath together in the garden in the summer! I truly believe that Lulu taught Serah how to be a young cat again as losing Jack wasn't just hard on us, it was hard on Serah too.. 


6 months after we lost Jack, Serah started suffering with anxiety, she lost loads of weight & stopped eating. I got so paranoid that she was going to die just like Jack did, that I took her to the vets to be checked over. The vet confirmed that because Serah used to like to follow Jack everywhere (just like Lulu does with Serah now) she may well have witnessed him being knocked down & killed! (which makes a lot of sense with how she now behaves around Lulu) After this, I spent a lot of extra quiet time with Serah to help her get over her grief. 
It has been 17 months now since we lost Jack & she seems to be a lot more settled, although at meal times, she does still look out the kitchen window looking for Jack for a little while before coming to her bowl & settling down to eat! it's heart-wrenching to see, but the vet says that she will stop doing this in her own time, & when she does it, just to let her have her moment..  I am hoping in time she will accept that Jack isn't coming home & she will feel at peace enough to stop looking for him at the window each meal time. I love my girlie & it breaks my heart every time I see her do this! I am just so glad that she now has Lulu for company, because she absolutely adored Jack, as did we all. My Serah is such a lovely little lady. 




Last up is my third fur-baby, Luby Lulu! 
My little Lulu will be 2 years in August this year. She is the stitch that my heart needed to heal after losing my boy Jack & help me move on from his sudden death. She has also helped Serah to deal with her grief too! I always worried that I would be replacing Jack, but the truth is, I now know that she didn't replace him, she just helped me learn that my heart wasn't completely broken & that in time, I would be able to love Lulu just as much as I loved Jack & I would be able to move on without feeling like I was forgetting him. 


I am however pretty damn convinced that Jack is Lulu's guardian angel! some of the things she does is the exact same as he did & its insane! she is like a little female clone of him, it's so comforting. When someone said to me that when he is ready, Jack will one day find his way back to me through another cat, I thought said person was mad, but some of the things that Lulu does like sitting on my shoulder, it freaks me out ever so slightly, but it is so comforting too! I know for a fact that Jack Sparrow is watching over Lulu & whispering in her ear, telling her of all the cheeky, mischievous things he used to get up to for attention. 













Wednesday, 30 January 2019

A-Z Challenge - O is for Opportunity. (choose Scentsy & go wickless!)

- O is for Opportunity!
(Choose Scentsy & go wickless!)


What is Scentsy?

Scentsy is a safer way to fill your home with lovely fragrance. Scentsy have a selection of electric warmers & wax melts that are perfect & safe for homes with children & pets. 

Scentsy is an American based brand that is fairly new to the UK. Offering alternatives to candles. No flame, no soot no smoke & is completely toxic free.



The wax warmers are designed to warm enough to melt the wax at a safe temperature allowing the products to be suitable around children & pets, making sure there is no risk of injury.

these beautiful warmers are perfect for any room at home or even your workplace! with over 80 different fragrances to choose from, there will be something for everyone.







Friday, 25 January 2019

A-Z Challenge - N is for Negativity



- N is for Negativity!

As most of you know now, almost 4 years ago I had three lots of life saving brain surgery in the space of 3 days & everyday since then, my brain has been & is, STILL recovering. I still suffer these symptoms, because shit like this doesn't just "calm down" & "go away" it's frustrating being me most days! I feel belittled when I forget stuff & I get really embarrassed a lot of the time.
I sit & think, that before all the surgeries, I was okay. I still had Hydrocephalus, but I was okay, & now, almost 4 years on, I feel like a total moron most days! remembering things is really hard, I have to write EVERYTHING down & even then I still forget! some days I get so frustrated & panicked that I make myself poorly! but the forgetfulness is only one of the many symptoms I have to live with on a daily basis, whilst also trying to live a "normal" life! & believe it or not, there really isn't a lot of people out there that want to understand..
A couple of months after my surgery in 2015, some awful, vile woman & a few of her friends in a mums group decided to nickname me "Jharmong!" even tho at the time of my surgeries she & her friends had "supported me" & sent me their "well-wishes" but I see now that these people were so insecure that they decided to pick on me, saying things like "She's such a mong, maybe her surgery didn't work properly?!" 

maybe if these people had of seen in the flesh how close I came to dying in those 5 days, they wouldn't have been so awful? at the time this really hurt, I was still going through a lot, & it did send me spiraling a bit with my mental health after all I had been through! so after weeks of abuse (which felt like months) I decided that no more would I be someones target on Facebook & I removed myself from every single mum's group that I was in - & I was in a few back then! & over the last couple of years my life has been great! I only have a very small circle of friends on Facebook now as I don't trust very many people & I am also too poorly to be dealing with drama & immaturity. I have learnt to feel sorry for people that like to pick on others just to get their kicks, how sad their life must be when they feel the need to pick on other people & point out their flaws & disabilities.. I doesn't even make them people, it just makes them scummy. 

Don't get me wrong, i'm no angel myself have said shit in the heat of the moment when in an argument, but I always go back & apologise when the dust has settled, because that's the sort of person I am, I don't hold grudges & I definitely don't like the thought of others disliking me. When you go through as much as I have in such a short space of time, it not only knocks your confidence as a person, it also makes you realize exactly who & what is important in life, & in my life, I have to live with my conditions for the rest of my days, but what I don't have to live with, is nasty people making me feel like crap! 

Monday, 21 January 2019

A-Z Challenge - M is for Marton Mere.





- M is for Marton Mere!

In September 2005 I went on my very first "girlie holiday" with my best friend Katie. We were sat in her flat one afternoon talking about holidays when all of a sudden she had this bright idea & said let's book a holiday for your 18th! Me being a total holiday virgin thought this was a mad idea & that I could never afford it, but nevertheless we went to out local estate agent & grab some brochures anyways & brought them back to the flat to have a look at.. We eventually agreed on a little weekend away to Marton Mere in Blackpool. We were both so excited, it's all we spoke about for months. it's all we still speak about now. 

We arrived on the Friday evening at our little caravan we got unpacked & then visited the local Morrisons to grab some food for the weekend as we were self-catered. 

That evening we decided to visit the arcades & check out the evening entertainment, it was such a fun night & it must have shattered us out as we didn't get up until late the next morning! once we did finally rise & shine we decided to spend the day exploring Blackpool, so we took the bus out of the holiday camp & spent a few hours in Blackpool itself shopping & eating! I think I remember purchasing myself a new pair of jeans & a top for the evening. 

Saturday night came & we dressed ourselves up for a night of fun, I was half way through showering when the power disappeared in our caravan, so with soaking wet, half rinsed hair, I had to flag down the maintenance guy, only for him to ask me if I had put money in the meter... I looked at him completely blank thinking he was being deadly serious, only for him to start laughing at me, & tell me that our row had just had a small power-cut & the electricity should be back soon! Once that drama was over & we were finally ready, we went to spend some more time in the arcades. we gave the crane machines a bash & we both got lucky, I won a My Little Pony teddy (which cost me £6 in tries) & I still have to this day, in fact, Felicity has it, & Katie won herself a little teddy too! after the arcades we went to sit & watch the show in the entertainment room & have some food, because we never got to eat in the caravan due to their being no power. 

Sunday came & it was time to go home.. we were both pretty gutted that our fun was over, but it was an amazing holiday & a memory I have always treasured.