My Beautiful Boy is Growing Up.

When you find out that you're pregnant, the nine months waiting to meet your baby seems to drag! & then when your baby finally arrives, time just seems to disappear in the blink of an eye. I can't believe that in 3 months time, my baby boy Joel will be leaving the nursery that he has benn going to since he was 16 months old, ready for him starting his new journey in big boy school & starting reception in September. 

The staff at The Grange Nursery are amazing & I cannot thank them enough for helping Joel bloom into the confident & cheeky little lad that he has become. & most importantly, I cannot thank his Keyworker enough for helping Joel along when it came to his speech, we can't bloody shut the boy up now! He will still see most of the staff at the nursery, as his sister currently goes there one afternoon a week (soon to be 2 afternoons in September) so he will be collected from school & taken to the nursery until 6pm! Felicity will also stay on at The Grange until it is her time to start reception in a few years time, something that I do not yet want to even think about, because then I will cry. ;) 

Treasure every last moment with your children, because before you know it, they've grown up before your very eyes. 

Three years post surgery.

Wow! 

3 years ago on this night, I was sat in Leeds General Infirmary Children's Surgery Ward awaiting what would be the most horrific week of my entire life - Joel's open lung surgery to remove the entire bottom lobe of his right lung were his CCAM sat. no matter how many days, weeks, months or even years go by, I will never forget this week. it was one of the most heartbreaking times in my entire life. I had to watch my 14 month old little boy go through complete agony & there was nothing I could do! Joel is my miracle, my warrior & my absolute world. I wouldn't wish CCAM on my worst enemy, but my boy got through it & with every milestone that he reaches, every achievement he makes & every birthday we share, I am the proudest mum on the entire planet, because in April 2010, I didn't think I would get to watch him grow into the handsome & amazing little boy that he has & I am so thankful that he made it. he has shown me just how strong he can be & he has taught me how to be strong too! I love you Joel, with every last breathe in my body!! <3

Diary Enteries. #60.

Dear Diary... 

Four years ago today (11.09.2010) was my due date with Joel, I should of been going into hospital to be induced but they had no cots free in neonatal so I was made to wait another day before I was induced. I remember being absolutely gutted, i'd had enough & was so ready to meet my boy. then when the 12th came I was finally taken in to be induced, but even then I endured a 24 hour labour, one hour & half pushing, failed forceps & then a emergency section before our boy finally arrived. & even though it was the most traumatic labor/birth, I would do it again in a heartbeat, because hearing him scream the theatre down when we weren't even sure if he'd breathe on his own & the nurse placing him in my arms for the first time was the most amazing feeling in the world, something I will never ever forget. I remember seeing the fight in my boys eyes & I was so proud of him, & from that very moment, I always have & always will be.

On Saturday our beautiful boy turns 4 years old. he is & always will be my miracle, my little warrior! he has fought all the way & has come through so much in the past 4 years & now he is growing up & turning into such a healthy, handsome little boy! we can't wait to celebrate his 4th birthday with him, a milestone that 4 years ago we were uncertain as to weather it would be something we'd even get to see!! We are so proud of you Joel & we love you with all our hearts.♥♥

We hope we make you proud too & that you have an amazing birthday on Saturday, & an even better party on Sunday.

Joel Mortimer. 2 years post CCAM Surgery.

Dear Diary...

Where do I begin? Today I have been so happy yet so emotional, because two years ago today, my beautiful brave boy had open lung surgery to remove the bottom lobe of his right lung where his CCAM sat. Meanwhile I spend 5 agonizing hours on his ward with his dad & nanna, pacing the floors & climbing the walls worrying myself sick. 

But today, two years on, I look at my beautiful, healthy, brave warrior & I truly know how blessed I am, I know how lucky I am that my baby fought all the way for his life, & I also know that if we were ever to be in that situation again, with baby bean, then I would WITHOUT ANY DOUBT fight all the way through it all over again, no matter how much it scared me, because I would die for my babies.

Joel Mortimer & my beautiful growing baby bean. you are both my world.  xo

Diary Post #48 *More celebrating*

Dear Diary... 

Today we have spent the afternoon with my husbands family celebrating Joel's 3rd birthday because most of the family couldn't see him on Friday due to school & work commitments. The afternoon has been spent playing with balloons & toys, singing happy birthday & eating far too much food :)

All in all, it has been a lovely afternoon, Joel has loved every last second with the family & he finally got see his birthday cake, Super Mario & Luigi. his face was totally priceless! I actually still cannot believe that my baby boy, my pumpkin is now officially 3 years old. Time really does fly when your enjoying life being a Mummy. :)

Below I have added a few pictures of our afternoon, I hope you enjoy them. 

Until next time bloggers, keep smiling. XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX 

Diary Post #46. *Joel's 3rd Birthday*

Dear Diary.... 

Today we celebrated our son's 3rd birthday... A milestone that this time three years ago I never thought we'd see. As most of you know Joel was diagnosed with a Malformation on his right Lung when I was 20 weeks pregnant & in his short little life has already been through umpteen hospital appointments, a CT scan were he had to be put under general anesthetic & then the big one, open lung surgery to remove the bottom lobe of his right lung. So for all of the reasons above & so much more, all of Joel's birthday's are a very emotional time for me, even as I write this I am fighting tears that threaten to escape just from thinking about all the rough times we have been through as a family! /:  

BUT.....

Today Joel was SPOILT ROTTEN. :) By both myself & his daddy & his grandparents. Watching him open all of his presents has been lovely, watching him tear the wrapping paper off each of his presents & then seeing his face light up with each gift has totally made my day. He truly is one very special little boy. 

This afternoon we had Joel a mini tea party kind of thing. His nanna came round, I made up some grub & we had some fun with all of Joel's toys & watched him blow the candles out on his cake :) we will also be repeating this again on Sunday at my mother in laws house so that the rest of the family can see Joel & give him his presents (My husband brother & sister & their little families) I feel so blessed to have such a beautiful 3 YEAR OLD!! :') even now it seems strange saying he's 3, I keep wanting to say he's 2! o.O hehe. 

Below I have included a few photo's from Joel's special day, I hope you enjoy them & thank you for taking the time to read my post :) 

Until next time bloggers, 

Keep smiling. Xxxxxxxxx

Diary Post #45. *One more sleep*

Dear Diary...

Today I am so close to tears. Joel's 3rd birthday is only one more sleep away. This time 3 years ago I was terrified, terrified as to what the future would hold once my baby came into the world. We had such a battle ahead of us, & I really didn't know if we'd make it. but I believed in my boy & each day for the past 3 years he has shown me the true meaning of love. He has shown me how to be a mum, & he has shown me the world through his eyes. He is my inspiration to keep going, he is my whole world & I am so proud of my little boy. I think back to when I was asked if I wanted to terminate at 20 weeks pregnant & I am so glad that I listened to my heart, because when my son was born, I was born again too. 

He is my world & I am going to give him the best day that he deserves tomorrow (Friday) The dark clouds are behind us now, we've come through the hard times & now it's on to all the good times! 

I love you Joel. <3

Diary post #36. *Joel's Progress*

Dear Diary... 

I am sorry that I haven't posted in a few days, I have been quite a busy mamma this week. On Wednesday Joel saw his Speech Therapist for the second time (his first session since February) & I am so proud of my pumpkins progress, the women did some flash cards with him & he got every single one correct. Although he does tend to not listen properly & concentrate during tasks (which could be down to his hearing) he actually saw his arse a little bit with the women during one of the tasks so she had to stop & move onto something else with him. When she was asking him to find an object then do something with it, E.G: Find the spoon & put it in the cup, he could find the spoon but then instead of putting it into the cup he'd pick the knife up.. so that is now something we need to work on with him at home & also for the staff to work on with him when he's at nursery. Also she thinks that his speech pronunciation is quite behind for his age, but again, we are not sure as of yet if that is due to his hearing? Other than that she was very pleased with Joel's progress, & she thought he did very well when it came to things such as shapes, numbers & colors! :) She wants to see Joel again in November & hopefully by then he will have been for his second hearing test & we'll know what's happening & then she should be able to hopefully move on with Joel & begin to help him move forward with his speech pronunciation. 

I know he will eventually get there, its just going to take some time, but he has already come so far from just being able to "grunt & point" back in February.  

Diary Post #31 *My Poorly Little Person*

Dear Diary... 

I thought Joel had developed a summer cold & Hay Fever, turns out I was only half right......... 

Joel does indeed have Hay Fever but he has also had a really bad cough since Monday, I thought at first that it was just the last "dregs" of his cold, but today his cold has gotten worse & his cough is just getting ridiculous. His little chest sounds so wet & rattly & he keeps coughing his guts up to the point where he goes purple from gagging so much :( So I couldn'y just sit & watch anymore, & at 11.20am today we took a trip to the doctors to get him checked out. 

As soon as we got into the doctors room he declared that Joel has indeed got a chest infection.. because he had himself an almighty coughing fit & was nearly sick, the doctor didn't even need to check his chest, although he did anyways just to confirm it. 

So my little Pumpkin is now on antibiotics to HOEPFULLY help shift his chest infection. This is Joel's first chest infection since he had major open lung surgery in November 2011 to remove his CCAM, which in all honesty is really good going considering whilst Joel was "with CCAM" he was literally having one chest infection straight after the other! /: 

Tonight I am feeling quite useless & a little low. Sitting & watching your child cough, choke & struggle to breathe from gagging so much & there being absolutely nothing you can do to help him asides from holding him close with lots of cuddles is totally heartbreaking. If cuddles & kisses alone could take it all away & make him better than I would sit with him all night long.. 

I am really hoping that these antibiotics kick in soon. I can't handle seeing my beautiful little baby boy unwell, it tears me apart.... 

Picture: Where I found Joel sleeping when I nipped in his bedroom to check on him. This was right before I lifted him into bed & he had an almighty 20 minute coughing fit. 



Get Well Soon Joelybum, Mummy & Daddy love you so so much. Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Diary Post #30 *Pain! & update on Joel's Summer Cold/Hay fever*

Dear Diary.. 

Today I have woke up with agonizing back pain :( I am not sure where it has come from but hells bells does it hurt.. I didn't even manage to take my son to nursery this afternoon, my hubs had to do it, whilst I was laid up on the sofa playing the DS! I did however manage a trip out to TGI Friday's with my hubs & his parents for some lunch, but as much as the food was amazing, I didn't seem to enjoy it as much as usual because I wasn't comfortable! The whole time I had shooting pains in my back & was constantly fidgeting in my seat because I couldn't get comfy! I was so relieved once we got home, I crashed out on the sofa for 30 minutes & the hubs gave me a massage, which for the whole of 20 minutes did relieve the pain, but when it came to collecting my son from Nursery, I was walking down the streets like a damn hunchback.. if you had seen me you'd of thought i'd of had an accident in my pants, it was so painful to walk, so as I write this post I am currently sat in bed propped up with pillows & pain killers on my bed stand... I am so hoping that tomorrow I feel a little better, as I need to take my son to the doctors & have cough checked.. as I told you all yesterday (or was it the day before?) He gotten himself a Summer cold & maybe even hay fever? but when I collected him from nursery today his key worker told me that he'd done nothing but cough & choke all day so I really want to get that checked out as he's sounding very chesty now. 

I am hoping that tomorrow is a better day for the both of us because in all truthfulness  my mood has been crap today, i've been feeling so low & wanting to cry on & off all day :( but I need to try & keep smiling. 

Thank you for reading, until next time guys, keep smiling & I shall too! 
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A-Z Challenge. J is for "Joel"

Dear Diary.. 

Me & my boys have thoroughly enjoyed the last 2 & half weeks of sun - I hope it continues, but today our little person (Joel) has come down with what I can only assume to be a "summer cold" & possibly even Hayfever? it all started Saturday night. He went to bed absolutely fine after a fun-filled day playing in his swimming pool with daddy & having lots of fun, but then at around 10pm he started to cough & choke in his sleep! this of course called for Calpol & plenty of juice! 

Today Joel has been very clingy & he's got a puffy face, runny eyes, runny nose & a cough :( so needless to say, today has been filled with cuddles & lots of TLC. already this evening he has woke up in a state of tears & hysterics due to not being able to breathe properly, so I think it may be a long night for myself & the hubs! & if there is no improvement in Joel by the morning I think a doctors appointment might be on the cards. 

I do however have some Kids Piriton in the house from when he had Chicken Pox, so if he stirs again tonight, I may try him with some of that & see if that helps to settle him at all.. 

Hopefully we all get some sleep, but if not I am not bothered, Joel is all that matters to me, so if that means I end up being a sleep deprived Mamma, then so be it. 

I shall keep everybody updated on Joel. 
Thank you for reading, until next time. Xxxx

Diary post #16. *Sunshine & Positive Moods* :D

 

Dear Diary.. 

Firstly I just want to say how AMAZING this weather is at the moment.. Glorious sunshine! Which is also a massive bonus when it comes to my moods, because I definitely believe that the weather can affect your mood & for the past few days my mood has been great! :) I think it also helps that Joel is now over his illness & is alot more happier, which makes me alot happier!

Today we spend most of the afternoon over in my neighbors garden & Joel spend time playing with his friend Michaela (who is 16 months older than Joel) but they are very good friends, & I think overall Joel playing with children slightly older than him is bringing on his speech so much better too! (another bonus) Joel was totally obsessed with Michaela's trampoline, it was an 8ft one & he loved it, he spend a whole hour & half bouncing on it & running round in circles! - which explains why he totally crashed out in his granddad's car coming home from shopping, he woke up around 7.30pm & asked for his tv on & by half 8 he was out for the count again :) 

 

Later this evening my mother in law dropped round with a night light for us to put in Joel's room to help him with his night terrors which he is still suffering from! & so far all is good & he seems to be sleeping rather peacefully, it will actually be later on in the night that we will see for sure how well he does actually sleep so I will of course update again on how the whole "night light" phase pans out.. fingers crossed all is good. :) 

I think I can safely say since Tuesday the week has been a good one & I am looking forward to seeing what the weekend brings. 

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend & I shall of course update again soon. 

until next time bloggers :) Xxx

 

Diary post #15 Viral Infection.

Dear Diary.. 

Hey so I thought I would do some catching up. Today is Tuesday & what a "FUN" weekend we have had. On Friday night Joel started with what we thought was a D+S bug, his second one of the year.. & needless to say I was abit gutted for him because we were planning on him having a sleepover at his nanna & grandads on Saturday, Joel of course must have known this because even though he had spend 2-3 hours vomiting early hours of Saturday, come Lunch time he was charging around & looking his usual self again. So we decided that he seemed fit enough to still go to his nanna & grandad for his sleepover after all.

 

All afternoon he was fine, he went on a long walk, played in the park & fed the wild birds in Nanna's garden, & after a long hot bath & a bedtime story from nanna he went to sleep but then at Midnight she heard him vomiting :( I of course didn't know about this until the following day because she didnt call us up because she didn't want us to worry, & when my husband rang me from work Sunday morning to say he'd had a rough night I half expected to find him laid on the sofa looking like death when I got to my mother in laws, but instead he was stood at the kitchen window with his nanna waving at me as I came in the gate & once I had gotten in the house he was running around like a loony & playing with his toys.

 Again he seemed fine so I took him home & bathed him & then we went across the road to our next door neighbors, little girls 4th birthday party. all afternoon he was fine, he was eating & playing with the other kids & come bedtime he was exhausted & she as anything ready to sleep.... & then it happened again, at 5am Monday morning Joel started to be sick, byt this point I was totally baffled as to why he was perfectly fine during the day but vomiting of a night, so yesterday I took him to the doctors just for him to say, "Joel has a viral infection that affects him most of a night" NO SHIT SHERLOCK. All yesterday he was fine, it was  lovely day & with him being just a little bit fed up I decided on getting his paddling pool out & letting him have his evening bath in the garden, & with him having a sore bottom from having a poorly tummy, he absolutely loved it!! :)

THANKFULLY, last night was our first night since Thursday that we have had a whole night in which Joel hasn't woken up vomiting. He did wake at 5am this morning, but I think that is simply because his sleeping pattern has been messed around with a little from him being ill. Fingers crossed we can now say that Joel is over the worst & on the road to recovery because I know I sure as hell HATE seeing my little fella unwell, it's truly heartbreaking.

Diary Entry #11 NO MORE DUMMIES! :D

Dear Diary.. 

Well today I would like to start with YEY! :) my son has now officially been off his dummies for 3 weeks!! goodbye dummies  I shall not miss thee! The best part is, he did it all on his own & I am so proud. 

I am not one of these mothers that has to rush their child into doing something just because other kids their age are doing it, for example; my son is nearly 3 & is not in the slightest bit ready for being potty training, yes he will sit on the potty when you ask him too, but he won't always do something on it, (unless he is bribed with sweeties ofcourse) but am I worried or bothered in the slightest? NO! because I see things as, he will do it all in his own time, exactly like he did with giving up his dummies! why take them off him & stress him out just to please yourself, because you're sure as hell not pleasing your child! 

Joel giving up his dummies just kinda happened - literally. I was getting him ready for bed one night & I asked him to go & get himself a dummy from the freezer, so he trotted off to the freezer, opened it, took one look at the dummies then closed the freezer door & said "no dummy no" & that was that, he hasn't been to bed with a dummy since! even when he came down with a sickness bug & I actually thought he might have wanted one then but he didn't.

So as a reward for being that one step closer to becoming a "big boy" me & my husband treat Joel today, we took him to the toy shop & let him pick something new! £50 later, we walked out of the store with a Thomas the tank engine playset which he has been totally glued to since we got home! Needless to say once bedtime rolled round we then we had to endure a little tantrum but we told him thomas would be waiting for him when he woke up in the morning & the tears soon subsided. 

All in all today has been a lovely day, I do love spending the weekend with my boys it cheers me right up! :) Mood this evening, happy, relaxed & positive. 

vlog video #6. What is CCAM?

Today I wanted to talk with you guys about my son Joel's lung condition. Please feel free to ask any of your unanswered questions. & don't forget to visit my youtube page \& click on the "subscribe" button ;) 

Joel's Early Learning & Development Summary

Today I received Joel's Early Learning & Development Summary from Nursery & I am one very proud Mamma :) 

Self Confidence & Self awareness: 
Joel can communicate with his carers to express his preferences & interests through pointing or making noises. He loves playing with trains, especially Thomas the tank ones. Joel also enjoys messy activities such as painting & playing in the sand. 

Managing Feelings & Behavior: 
Joel understands the difference between what belongs to him & what we share at nursery. Joel needs encouragement from his carers to help with routines such as "tidy up time". 

Making Relationships: 
Joel has gained relationships with his carers in the toddlers room. He will play co-operatively with adults, especially rolling Thomas trains back & forth. Joel is beginning to build relationships with his peers, playing alongside them, he also enjoys playing by himself. 

Moving & Handling: 
Joel loves being outdoors at Nursery, especially playing in the mud or water. Joel is very steady on his feet & is confident at climbing for example the steps up the slide. Joel is beginning to show more control when using mark making tools, he loves getting messy. 

Health & Self Care:
Joel enjoys using a fork to feed himself at meal times. He still uses a feeder cup however we are introducing him to holding a cup with both hands & not spilling. Joel needs guidance from carers to put his coat on for outdoor plat but Joel has recently started attempting to put on his own slippers & shoes. 

Playing & Exploring: 
Joel can show particular interest & spends his time at Nursery with toys that interest him. In most cases this is the trains. Joel enjoys role-play activities he often spends long periods of time laying with the pretend food. Joel takes part in new activities. If it is something that does not interest him he will go off & find himself something else to do. 

Active Learning: 
Joel can maintain focus for short periods of time when he is engaging in something of interest to him. If challenges occur during play Joel will find something else to do rather than persisting with the activity. If Joel does something he is proud of he will seek praise from his carers by saying "yeh" or clapping his hands. 

Creating & Thinking Critically: 
Joel can bring his own ideas to activities e.g if messy play is available Joel will bring trains from the toddler room to make marks in paint/shaving foam etc. Joel is often solving simple problems, he enjoys completely pulling out jigsaws & can spend long periods of time putting a train track together. 

Sickness bug.

The worst thing any mother can experience is having to see their chid(ren) ill & there being nothing much that they can do about it. 

My son contracted a diarrhea & sickness bug on Monday, well he started off with just the runs & a temperature, then on Tuesday he seemed to pick up, but on Wednesday he became very clingy & at tea time the vomiting started.

Today is Thursday & I am hoping that the bug is on it's last legs now, after endin up spending the night in my son's bed at 1.30am this morning with him & a bucket whilst he spent a solid hour vomiting!:( luckily he seemed to stop around 2.45am & we did manage to get a few hours sleep but then at 5am his bottom exploded so I put him in the bath with me, (I really needed to freshen up) & after his bath he seemed to perk up a little, & then started charging around his bedroom whilst I was trying to put fresh pj's on him & what happened, he vomited AGAIN! :s thankfully there wasn't much there & he hasn't been sick since & has actually managed to keep two slices of toast down for the entire morning! he seems a little happier in himself this afternoon but still looks rather pale & wiped out. 

It's hard to judge a sickness bug when it's little ones, my son is 2 & one minute he can be up & the next he can be down, so I guess all I can really do is make sure he has lots of TLC, calpol & juice until he is feeling better. Fingers crossed it won't last much longer tho because I'm not sure how much more my washing machine can take of having to wash vomited on bedding & other items! :s  #YAK

Chocolate for Breakfast.

When Joel woke this morning, he could not believe his luck when I allowed him to have Chocolate for his Breakfast :) As we were out all day yesterday visiting the animals at the farm we have had our Easter chocolate morning today instead. Joel has been a very lucky boy this Easter, & has received lots of goodies from family & friends. 

Needless to say I don't think "Mamma" or "Diddy" need to buy him any goodies for a few weeks now, as I am sure this lot will keep him going for a while. I especially love his Fireman Sam toddler Mug that his God Father bought him (along with an egg) it's so damn cute. it's so tiny.

I am more than likely going to have my hands full with a toddler full of sugar for a good chunk of today, but that's one of the joys of being a Mum. As long as my son is smiling & happy, I am willing to risk a little Chocolate. ;) 

Our trip to Temple Newsam Farm.

Today me & my husband took our old son Joel to Temple Newsam Farm to see all the animals. We went with my husbands parents & it has been a lovely day, even if the weather was a little bit on the nippy noodles side. Joel had a great time, he loved seeing all the animals, he also learnt 3 new words today too! "Moo" "Chickens" & "Sheeps" I am one very proud Mamma to have such a happy content little boy. 

Below I have included a "not so little" gallery of our day out :) I hope you enjoy the photos. :)