I have wondered since yesterday on how to word this without sounding like a bitch, but then I realized, I dont care!
i've spent the last 6 months driving myself crazy after a 14 year friendship ended. said person ignored all my messages, blocked me on all social media & then had the audacity to play the 'vulnerable victim'
6 months on.... with my husband by my side, & the amazing support i've had from real friends, i've finally realized how much happier I can be now that I am no longer drowning in said persons manipulative, narcasistic & negative behaviour i'm finally realizing, that it doesn't matter how many weeks/months or even years that you put into a person, some people dont want to be helped, they don't want to change, because they enjoy being miserable! I need to stop looking for the good in people that just isn't there. I will never forget how worthless & suicidal she made me feel a mere few months ago, I will never forget wanting to die because of her. I hope she's proud of what she did to me!
As for me right now, I know i'm proud, for finally moving on from someone like her.
I know i'm loved, I know my worth, & I know I can be happy again, without being manipulated. i'm not looking back anymore. 2019 has been an incredibly tough year for me! I never thought that in my time of need someone could be so cold-hearted & selfish! because of her, I lost myself for a little while, I wasnt sure who I was anymore & she did that. so i'm making a promise to myself right here, & that is, to make 2020 the best year I can!
No more looking back at people & situations that did nothing but cause me heartache, no more looking back on people who drowned me & made me feel negative. no more shedding tears over people that won't ever change.
2020 is the year I put myself first, by putting the people that tried to destroy me to bed.
because quite frankly, they're not important anymore, nor do they matter to me! they dont deserve any space in my head.
2020 is the year I move on from narcasistic people & start enjoying MY life again! I am very lucky to be blessed with my beautiful little family & to have true, loyal friends by my side. people that will always have my back no matter what I go through! I won't be nobodys second choice anymore, I deserve so much better, because despite what life constantly throws at me, I still carry on, because this I am strong enough to live this life & I believe in myself. Even if nobody else does.
Time to be happy again.
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