Dear Diary.
I think that it is more than safe to say that today has been well & truly PANTS. This morning I went to see my GP to see about getting some new medication for my migraines as the stuff I am currently on isn't working for me anymore.
When I got in there I completely broke down, I told him how the migraines are daily & that if I am not stuck in bed due to having a migraine then I am stuck into bed from being so exhausted & needing to constantly sleep. I told him how I have been suffering with blurred vision, dizzy spells, nausea & that the memory loss is just getting worse, I am forgetting the most minor things, the most littlest of things, I wake up some days I don't even know what day it is - & no, I am not exaggerating! so my GP is now referring me back to my GP because he doesn't want to give me anymore medications just in case my shunts are once again playing up, so for now I have to wait it out, continue with the medications that I am on & hope that I get an appointment through soon, becuse in all honesty, I cannot cope anymore.
I just want all of this to stop, ever since I had surgery in Jan 2015, I feel like my life has become so different, I feel like I took the last 10 years when my shunt was working for granted, because now that I have two shunts in place, I wake up everyday poorly, there is this constant pressure in my head, every morning I wake up to nausea & a headache! some days I just want to die, some nights I go to bed, & I hope that I will go to sleep & never wake up.
I need the room to stop spinning, I need this constant nausea to piss off, & the headaches to do one! I want my life back, the life that I had before all of this. before my shunt decided to give up on me. I am really sorry for this negative post, I just really needed to get this off my chest lmao!
Thank you for reading if you have read this to the end.
I will keep you all updated, please keep your fingers crossed that I get my appointment soon. X
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