Diary Post #63.

My whole world & so much more..

my amazing little family. 

Dear Diary,

Neil lost his job the back end of October, this will be his second job this year. For him it has been a huge hit in his confidence because since he was 16 years old (he's 33 now) he's been in a job, he's supported his family & put our food on the table! so at the moment he feels like a bit of a failure. He isn't though, far from it. He's amazing. Something like this would usually break a couple up, but not us, we've been through far too much for something as "minor" as this to ruin us! instead it has made us even more closer as a family. 

Currently Neil has had to go on the sick due to his mental state, he's been suffering a lot of panic attacks since July due to stress, (me giving birth & the pressure of needing a job so that he can provide for his family) it's all just gotten to much for him, so the poor man is in a little bit of a state at the moment. 

Thankfully, there is a few benefits that we are entitled too until he is ready to go back into work! we don't plan on staying in this situation forever, I don't understand how anyone can willingly not go out to work & live such a hard life. of course i'm not coating everybody with the same brush, but there is people out there, who can't be bothered to work & they live on benfits all of the time! our benefits havent even started properly yet & Neil has been out of work for 3 weeks now, things have been seriously hard! thankfully though, our "main" things are paid for, rent to keep our house, milk & nappies for the baby & food in the cupboards for ourself & our son!

Were not going to be able to have the Christmas that we planned, but we don't care, as long as we are all together & we are able to afford a couple of presents for our children & some for the family too, that's what is important to us! 

Hopefully 2015 will be a much better year, Neil will be able to sort himself out & find a job that he is truly happy in, & things will eventually get better. For the time being though, all we really need is eachother, & as long as we have that & we stick together, then nothing can break us! & nothing ever will.